no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
