if i died would you start the facebook group?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
