Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
