It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
