it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
