can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
