He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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