can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
