ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
