Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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