new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
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