Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize