Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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