Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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