I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
