It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
