You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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