I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
