I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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