You're completely useless in the revolution.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
