But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
