Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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