I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
