i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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