the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
