The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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