he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
