Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
