I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
