Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
