your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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