it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize