Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
