she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
