Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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