i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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