Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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