YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
