so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
