I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
