I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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