Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
