U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
