I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
