New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
