so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
