please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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