Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
