Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
