In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
