she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
