just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
