Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Randomize
