The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
