So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
