I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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