he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
